50+ Funny Quotes About Friendship

5 min read
Friends holding hands

Some of your best, worst, silliest, and craziest moments in life are shared with your friends. Here are some amusing quotes that show what friendship is (and, in some cases isn’t) all about. Enjoy!

Partners in Crime

People holding hands
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1. “A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a dead body.” – Jim Hayes
2. “When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘that was fun’.” – Groucho Marx
3. “Friends don’t let friends do stupid things… Alone.” – Anonymous
4. “Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.” – Anonymous
5. “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless your friends are on twitter.” – Greg Tamblyn

Fun, Crazy Times

Woman clowning around
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1. “A good friend knows all your best stories. A best friend has lived them with you.” – Anonymous
2. “This is by far your worst idea ever…I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” – Anonymous
3. “Sometimes, being silly with a friend is the best therapy!” – Anonymous
4. “No one will ever be as entertained by us as us.” – Anonymous
5. “Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental hospital.” – Anonymous
6. “Friends make you smile — best friends make you giggle ’til you pee your pants.” -Terri Guillemets
7. “‘Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected.” – Charles Lamb
8. “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
9. “We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.” – Anonymous
10. “You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. But it helps.” – Anonymous
11. “You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You are everything I ever wanted in a friend.” – Anonymous
12. “You can tell when two people are best friends because they are having way too much fun together.” – Anonymous
13. “Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans.” – Anonymous
14. “Nothing compares to the pain of a belly ache from laughing too hard with your best friend.” – Unknown
15. “We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don’t get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.” – Someecards.com
16. “You think I’m crazy? You should see me with my best friend.” – QuoteReel.com


Friends taking a selfie
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1. “Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine.” – Anonymous
2. “Friends knock on the door. Best friends walk into your house and start eating.” – Anonymous
3. “We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile…then, we’ll be new friends!” – Anonymous
4. “Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.” – Anonymous
5. “I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.” – Anonymous
6. “Good friends will mourn your death; best friends will come and clean your computer history immediately after you die.” – Anonymous
7. “I hope we’re friends until we die. And then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare other people.” – Anonymous
8. “I want to be your BFF until I am too old to remember what BFF means.” – Anonymous
9. “Someone who is just a friend will compliment your outfit no matter how bad it looks, and a best friend will tell you that you need to go home and change.” – Anonymous
10. “We’ll be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing homes.” – Anonymous
11. “Best friend: someone you can only stay mad at for so long because you have important things to talk about.” – Anonymous
12. “You call me your best friend, but where were you when my selfie only had four likes?” – QuoteReel.com

We All Have That One Friend…

Nerdy girl
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1. “Everyone has that one annoying friend. If you don’t have one, then it’s probably you.” – Anonymous
2. “We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice but is still single.” – Anonymous
3. “We all have that one fried that we can’t put on speakerphone because we don’t know what’s going to come out of their mouth.” – Anonymous
4. “Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes.” – Anonymous
5. “We all have that one friend, how needs to learn how to whisper.” – Anonymous
6. “Everybody has a friend in their circle who comes to the party with one bottle of beer, but drinks 8 of them.” – Anonymous
7. “That one friend who’s a loca but always got your back.” – Anonymous

“Real” Friends

Masquerade masks
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1. “True friends stab you in the front.” – Oscar Wilde
2. “Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.” – Anonymous
3. “As your best friend I’ll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing.” – Anonymous
4. “Few friendships would survive if each one knew what his friend says of him behind his back.” – Blaise Pascal
5. “I’d take a bullet for you. Not in the head. But like in the leg or something.” – Anonymous
6. “A true friend is someone who never gets tired of listening to your pointless dramas over and over again.” – Lauren Conrad
7. “Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.” – Oscar Wilde

Getting Together

Friends hanging out together
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1. “Combined study is meeting with friends where all aspects of the world are discussed except studies.” – Anonymous
2. “Two people are never such good friends as when they share a mutual dislike of a third person.” – Anonymous
3. “There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.” – Sylvia Plath
4. “True friends don’t judge each other. They judge other people together.” – Anonymous
5. “There’s something extremely unimportant that I have to tell you ASAP.” – Anonymous

Keeping Secrets

Keeping a secret
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1. “When I say I won’t tell anyone, my best friend doesn’t count.” – Anonymous
2. “Best friends keep your secret longer–at least for one hour.” – Anonymous


Do you have any funny friendship quotes you’d like to share? Let us know. We love a good laugh!