Humans are a very complex species. There are an infinite number of factors that can contribute to how a person interacts with the world around them, and the people in that world. The vast majority of us do our best to be a positive force – easy to get along with, not prone to outbursts or emotional extremes, and seeking to improve those we interact with.
But there are these other types… Some people seem to get out of bed every morning because they know that today, they can tell somebody off. They seem to delight in being rude. They offer very weak justifications such as, “Hey, I’m just keepin’ it real” or “I’m just naturally, brutally honest” or some similar nonsense. These are all just excuses for the fact that they refuse to be nice. But the rest of us don’t have to just sit back and take it. There are some effective ways to deal with rudeness. Here are some of the best.
A simple “thank you” speaks volumes when you encounter rudeness. Not only does it show the other person that you didn’t let their words affect you, it reflects maturity on your part. You chose not to ignore the person or get angry, but met both of those tactics somewhere in the middle. A “thank you” usually implies that you acknowledge someone’s thoughtfulness and are responding to that. However, in this case, your “thank you” will mean that you acknowledge the person’s rudeness and you choose not to let it affect you. That will shut the other person down quickly when he or she realizes that the comments didn’t faze you.
You choose how to react in any given situation, so choose happiness. It will keep your thoughts and actions positive, and show others that their rude words simply cannot take your power from you.
I Appreciate Your Perspective.
Not only does is this an intelligent approach, but it will also show the person that you only wish to communicate in an adult manner, and not stoop to their level. Any rude comments reflect the other person’s shaky perception of themselves, so remember that when someone blurts out something tactless. They may want to bring you down, but you don’t have to let them. Show them that you will only continue the conversation with dignity and respect. They may actually respect you more by reacting in such a considerate way. If this doesn’t happen, shift your focus with this next tip.
Why Do You Feel That Was Necessary, And Do You Really Expect Me To Answer?
Especially in group settings, this will likely put the other person in check very quickly. Instead of getting the expected irate response out of you, they will meet a calm, cool and collected you, ready to talk things over sensibly and decently. Also, it will give them a chance to redeem themselves, and apologize to you in front of your friends, family or co-workers.
While most people have a hard time saying these two words, it will benefit you to make the other person believe they were in the right in what they said, and will likely cause the conversation to be cut short. What more can they say after this comeback? You admit their rightness and then disengage from the conversation. While you might not get as much satisfaction by using this tactic, it will put a damper on the other person’s enjoyment since they won’t get a rise out of you, which is what they were after in the first place.
You Always Have Something Negative To Say, Don’t You?
This takes the attention off of you and back onto them, making them think twice about their choice of conversation topics. Not only will you, rightfully so, draw their focus onto their own words, but also force them to reconsider what they say in the future.
Speaking your mind when a person repeats behavior that offends you is never wrong or uncalled for; if you feel you need to draw attention to someone’s behavior, then listen to your gut. The person’s negativity likely affects other people besides you, so making them aware of their own toxic behavior will actually benefit you and others in future situations with this person.
I Love Myself, And I Love You, Too.
This may only apply in certain situations with friends, family, and your spouse. If you say it to your boss, you might either get a strange look or get your named removed from the payroll, so use it at your discretion. However, this comeback had to make an appearance on the list because of its effectiveness at shutting down rude people. Kindness always prevails over negativity; darkness cannot thrive where light is present. When you express to the other person just how much you love life and others, their comments become irrelevant and lose power quickly. Their sour mood and bleak outlook on themselves, you, and life will not be a match for your extreme happiness and zest for life. People also aren’t used to such raw emotion from others, and will probably be too surprised to formulate a proper response.
This reaction will definitely catch the offender off-guard and make a rude person feel embarrassed for even making the comment in the first place. For instance, if your aunt brings up your recent job loss at dinner again, just laugh. It will make the present moment seem a little less serious, and will send a message that you don’t let other people’s rude comments affect your mood or outlook on life.
Bottom line: You choose how to react in any given situation, so choose happiness!
Now that we’ve discussed the more diplomatic ways to address rude people, let’s have a little fun. You may get to the point where you have used every possible resource to be kind, diplomatic, mature and reasonable, but the person just refuses to budge. At that point, you may want to throw some brutal honesty back at him or her. Here are some more brutal, even childish, responses that may put the person in their proper place.
- You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?
- Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
- If you’re waiting for me to care, I hope you brought something to eat, ‘cause it’s gonna be a long time.
- Someday you’ll go far—and I really hope you stay there.
- You only annoy me when you’re breathing, really.
- Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case.
- I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.
- Do your parents even realize they’re living proof that two wrongs don’t make a right?
- Remember that time I said I thought you were cool? I lied.
- Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege.
- I can’t help imagining how much more awesome the world would be if your dad had just pulled out.
- Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d gotten enough oxygen at birth?
- Please, save your breath. You’ll probably need it to blow up your next date.
- Were you born on the highway? That is where most accidents happen.
- Please, keep talking. I only yawn when I’m super fascinated.
- Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks you’re an idiot.
- If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
- Are you always such an idiot, or do you just show off when I’m around?
- There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.
- I was pro-life. Then I met you.
- You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
- Whenever we hang out, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor.
- It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.
- Please just tell me you don’t plan to home-school your kids.
- You always bring me so much joy—as soon as you leave the room.
- I was hoping for a battle of wits but it would be wrong to attack someone who’s totally unarmed.
- Stupidity’s not a crime, so feel free to go.
- The village called. They’d like their idiot back. You better get going.
- You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
- I was going to give you a nasty look but I see that you’ve already got one.
- You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
- People like you are the reason I’m on medication.
- I believed in evolution until I met you.
- If I threw a stick, you’d leave, right?
- Earth is full. Go home.