We love our celebrity worship. For whatever reason, people who do what they do for a living in front of a camera or crowd or behind a microphone get elevated by the rest of us. We think they must be super-human or not human at all. Then, we have the nerve to get mad at them when they start acting like they live above us. What do we expect? We put them there.
We also love our social media. It kind of makes us feel like celebrities, being able to put our own thoughts and expressions into a platform that millions could possibly see, like the celebrity we worship puts his or her thoughts out into the world for millions to see. And, just like the celebrities, we start to think we are more important than everyone else. We then use our newfound superiority to go off on anyone who doesn’t display “my” superior knowledge.
Dunking on dumb-dumbs on social media is the new big thing — with good reason. There’s something objectively satisfying about slapping down some stupid Twitter bot that has its facts wrong. The thing is, sometimes the dumbness on social media comes from a famous person who’s just uninformed. This creates the ultimate rush – the celebrity we elevated to another plane makes a bad move, and we, with our own self-declared superiority because we are bloviating on the internet, get the chance to return the celebrity back to the level of the rest of us, before we elevate them again.
These are the moments that make social media worth keeping. Or at least less deserving of being burned to the ground.
8) James Woods Mistakes Doodles for Bibles
A Twitter user didn’t understand why there was no Doodle published for Easter 2018. James Woods quickly fired off, “They loathe Christians. Plain and simple.”
Well, they must loathe a lot of other people too. Google doesn’t allow Doodles for ANY religious holiday under their current guidelines.
7) Spike Lee gets directionally challenged
The media mogul decided he’d take matters into his own Twitter, er, uh, hands, after George Zimmerman, the man who fatally shot teenager Trayvon Martin, was found innocent by a jury. Lee tweeted out Zimmerman’s address with a call for everyone to RT. The problem is, Lee got the address incorrect. He mistakenly used the address of an elderly couple who had nothing to do with the case. The couple received numerous death threats and eventually sued Lee.
6) Chris Brown Learns Math Is Hard
The Ebola virus was wreaking havoc in 2014. Hip-hop artist Chris Brown thought he knew what was really happening. He tweeted, “I don’t know… But I think this Ebola epidemic is a form of population control. S**t is getting crazy bruh.”
That would really suck if it was true. But some simple math blows the theory to smithereens. At that time, 4,500 people had died from the virus. Here in 2019, that number has risen to 13,000. In that same 5-year period, the world population has increased by 400 million. Pretty poor example of population control.
5) Jim Carey Needs To Upgrade To The Latest Version
There’s a very passionate debate raging about childhood vaccinations. Jim Carey tweeted in 2015, “I am not anti-vaccine. I am anti-thimerosal, anti-mercury. They have taken some of the mercury laden thimerosal out of vaccines. NOT ALL!”
Carey need only ask if there is anything newer than this clunky Windows 95 thingy. Every vaccine that is routinely recommended for children under age 7 is available in a thimerosal-free version.
4) Ashton Kutcher Didn’t Read The WHOLE Memo
Ashton Kutcher is an actor and avid college football fan. Even though Penn State is a conference rival of Kutcher’s team, the University of Iowa Hawkeyes, he was a fan of Penn State legend Joe Paterno. When the sexual abuse scandal at Penn State broke in late 2011, Kutcher stopped after the headline “Paterno fired as Penn State football coach.’ Before reading why, he tweeted, “How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste.”
Of course, if he had read the whole story, he would have learned that Paterno was fully aware of the disgusting conduct of his defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky, but didn’t do anything about it so the football team could keep its perch as a college football elite.
3) Employer Goes Hunting For Union Promoters
David Portnoy, founder of Barstool Sports, got wind of an attempt by labor lawyer Rafi Letzter trying to drum up interest among the Barstool employees forming a union. Portnoy got a hold of a tweet from Letzter instructing interested persons to send him a direct message. Portnoy retweeted with the additional comment, “If you work for @barstoolsports and DM this man I will fire you on the spot.”
Of course, this kind of threat and intimidation is a violation of every labor law on the books, and charges were filed with the National Labor Relations Board within 48 hours.
2) Enroll the President In Chris Brown’s Math Class
You didn’t think we were going to compile a whole list of Celebrity Stupid without The Donald, did you?
On August 21, 2019, Trump tweeted that the US Dollar was the strongest it’s been in history. However, the US Dollar Index – the most common measure of the dollar’s strength, was 40% less than its record high.
Sorry, Mr. President. You can join Chris Brown in a math class. You can brag to Brown about your friendship with Kanye and Kim while you’re learning.
1) A Mistakenly Public-Private Partnership
University of Alabama quarterback A. J. McCarron was living the dream life in 2013. He was in the middle of a college career that would lead to a national championship and a spot in the NFL, and he married Katherine Webb, the former Miss Alabama. But Arizona Cardinals player Darnell Dockett thought that Webb could do better – with him. He sent a tweet proposing they go to Wing Stop and King of Diamond after a game, and included his phone number so she could hit him up. Just one problem: he didn’t send a DM. He sent that in a tweet for all the world to see.