Maybe it’s been just a year since the ugly breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Or perhaps it’s just been a week and you’ve decided he or she is ‘The One.’ Regardless of the fact that it was a year or simply a day, you’ve apparently come to the conclusion that ‘I can’t live without him or her.’ So, what do you do? How do you get the love of your life back? Well, here’s your perfect guide – The Top Ten Ways to Get your Ex Back – and although subjective, maybe you’ll find at least one of our tips useful. For starters, there will be no car chases, stalking or threatening their current significant other. You also won’t be murdering your x’s new date – this isn’t the Top Ten Extreme Ways to Get Your Ex Back – though maybe we should cover that? These are 10 useful and perfectly capable ways to win your ex over. So, let’s start with getting in touch, shall we?
10. Get in Touch
Your ex doesn’t pick up the phone (naturally). So, you’re left with the machine telling you to a, “Leave a voicemail and when you are finished, simply hang up,” or b, “or press the pound key for more options.”
So, what do you do? Simply say hi. Just saying “Hey, Harry – this is Sally. Just wanted to find out how you’re doing” is a step of progress to start the process of getting your ex back, you’re going to want to get in touch. Letting him or her know you exist with a simple text message or a call can pave the way for conversation – which is what you need contrary to silence.
9. Give Your Ex Some Space
Now that you’ve gotten in touch – stay in touch. But that doesn’t mean calling his phone every break at work, or texting her every 5 minutes. You don’t want to seem desperate. Moreover, staying in touch doesn’t mean making a call on every third Monday of the month. Give your ex space – but not too much space. Stay connected, for example sending a text like “Hey, just went to your favorite ice cream shop around the corner. It reminds me of you.” If you ex boyfriend of girlfriend responds with a “WTF? Does it look like I care” – then you should really give that person some space. Or, follow the next steps below.
It’s easy to point the finger at someone else in a relationship, but if you know you did something wrong – apologize. And really mean it. Even if it’s something futile like calling her fat after an argument (which really isn’t, by the way) – own up to it. Recognize her feelings were hurt and understand why it hurt her.
7. Don’t Lose Your Cool
Control your temper. Even when you see your lover brushing past you with her hand clasped with your bestfriend, don’t lose your cool. Stay tame. Maybe she’s testing you. Or maybe not – after you saw the two of them putting each others’ tongues in their mouths. The point is – show her you’ve got a handle on things.
Perhaps he left you because of your short temper. Choosing to handle calmly the sight of your ex with another date, angry messages in your voice-mailbox or the cold shoulder, shows your discipline and progress of change. It shows you’re willing to change. And it displays a responsible and maturing person.
6. Keep it Casual
Although your feelings for your ex may be anything but casual, keep things nonchalant. This goes along with giving your ex some space. He or she might not be ready to invite you back into a relationship. Or they’re simply not ready to move past the ‘relaxed state.’ The ideal state (for now) is where it’s comfortable to be around each other – but, at most, you’re just a friend. Or more specifically – an acquaintance. Acquaintances like to keep things casual.
5. Understand it May Be a Slow Process
Getting your ex back may take weeks. Understand it can be an agonizingly slow progress. But have patience; don’t rush it. Rushing into a relationship, as well as rushing back into a relationship, has its serious consequences. Besides, everyone is different and it may take only a few days for Harry to win back Sally, while Angeline struggles with Brad (or the other way around).
4. Show Your Romantic Side
Flatter her with flowers. Take him out to dinner. There are so many ways, creative or simple, to bring out some romance. Show your ex you know how to really have a great time.
Make Decisions Together
You and your ex should be on the same time. Getting your ex back means you listen and she listens, you share and he shares, and you both make decisions together. Decisions can’t be one-sided. Maybe forcing her into things she disagreed with was the reason she dumped you. Don’t let it happen again. That doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat for his decisions, either. Walking all over someone in a relationship or letting someone walk all over you isn’t really a team or relationship.
2. Go For the Kill
This is what you’ve wanted to do since Day 1. Now you can do it. Maybe it doesn’t mean getting down one knee and asking for her hand in marriage, but it sure can feel like it. You can now ask your ex out again. You tell him or her how you truly feel. And make sure you do this in person – saying ‘I love you’ face to face is much better than a text message.
1. Be Honest
Now that you’re in a relationship – be honest with your partner. Share things with him or her. Remember you’re a team now. Be sincere – dishonesty can result in major consequences. Confront your feelings and secrets, even though that seems ‘scary.’ It’s like going ahead and ripping the bandaid off your skin. It stings for a moment – but then you’re left satisfied at the end.
When you’ve tried all these ideas, including begging, you know he or she doesn’t want you back. So, then at this point – there’s no way. Other than that, the important thing is to be honest and truly examine your heart for this person.